Trey & I are beside ourselves with excitement to announce that we are expecting baby Watten in March of 2019!
It has taken us a little over a year and a half to get pregnant. There are so many that have walked this road longer and while a year and a half doesn't sound like that much time in the grand scheme of things, it still feels like it was an eternity in a lot of ways. Our days were filled with a mixture of excitement, struggle, anticipation, frustration, hope, doubt, joy, and pain. Throughout this time, we had no choice put to surrender our dream to be parents to the Lord and beg Him to answer that prayer. We had to choose to believe that regardless of if He answered that prayer that He was still good. The Lord felt near and He felt distant, but we know that He remained steadfast through it all. We are so thankful for the community that has come alongside of us, for the prayers, for the notes of encouragement, for the gifts. We have felt so loved in this season and we could not be more thankful.
For some of you, reading this post sucks. The wind has been knocked out of you once again. You're reading it through tears wishing desperately to be able to make the same announcement. Please know we see you. We hurt for you and we are praying desperately that you do get to make your own announcement one day. We promise to not forget how horrible it is to be in the midst of the pain of an empty womb. We will be constant in prayer that the Lord is near and that He grants the desires of your heart. And hey, if you have an urge to scream at and/or cuss out a pregnant girl, give me a call.
When did I find out?
I took my first positive pregnancy test on July 5th when I was approximately 3 weeks, 5 days pregnant! I was fully expecting it to be negative because it was early and I didn’t get a positive with our first pregnancy until I was several days late. I had bought a bunch of cheap test strips from Amazon to use at first and was saving my First Response and Digital tests to confirm. (If you’ve been through infertility, you know how the cost of pregnancy tests start to add up so you only use the good ones when you need to!) I dipped the test & was just sitting there scrolling through my phone to distract myself while I waited. Because I fully expected it to be negative, without looking at the test, I dumped my sample back in the toilet, flushed it, and then went to throw the test away but then the TWO lines caught my eye! I was floored because the lines were darker than we ever got with our first pregnancy and it was still early. I immediately called Sarah hoping she was home so that she could confirm I was really seeing two lines and not going crazy. Unfortunately, she was on her way to camp, but I caught her on her way and sent her a picture. She confirmed there were two lines so I immediately went to grab my digital test just so I could truly believe it and then I realized I HAD FLUSHED ALL OF MY PEE DOWN THE TOILET! I’ve done this dozens of times… how could I have done this the ONE time that I needed it?! I started chugging water and eventually was able to get a sample that I could use for the digital test & sure enough, it said “pregnant”!
How did you tell Trey?
I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it from him for long so I just ran to Target and got a little stuffed animal to lay next to the pregnancy test for when he got home from work!
How did your miscarriage impact you and your family’s reaction to the pregnancy?
The excitement level has been the same, for sure! We are absolutely overjoyed to be expecting. To be completely transparent though, the anxiety and fear has been unbearable at times. I experienced a lot of pain at the beginning of this pregnancy that was similar to what I felt when we lost our baby in April, it was a daily struggle and I don’t think I’ve ever prayed more than I have during this first trimester of pregnancy.
With our family and our friends, I noticed that the people that knew about our first pregnancy before we lost it, were much more cautious in their reactions than those who only found out we were pregnant after we miscarried. They had experienced the same rollercoaster of joy and grief that we experienced with losing our baby the first time around and I think everyone was just a little apprehensive at first. We weren’t able to tell most of Trey’s family prior to losing our first sweet baby so we decided we would wait until after I got bloodwork done at 5 weeks to confirm everything was looking good before telling them. It was so fun getting to tell them we were pregnant with a little more confidence!
How far along are you now?
I will be 12 weeks on Saturday!
How have you been feeling?
Absolutely and totally terrible. I’ve hardly left the house and have carried an emesis bag in my purse for the past several months. Almost everyone in our daily lives know we are pregnant because I simply couldn’t hide how sick I’ve felt. However, it has honestly been SO reassuring and I don’t know if I would have had it any other way. I feel like the fact that I have felt so sick has been God’s grace to me and such a reassurance that things are progressing as they should.
Are you going to find out the gender? And do you have any feelings on what it is? Any names picked out?
We are pretty sure we are going to find out! Originally, I didn’t want to, but for some reason my thought process has changed completely after losing our first baby. I want to know and bond with this little peanut as much as possible for as long as I possibly can and I think knowing the gender helps with that.
I am fully convinced it is a boy. Like, I will be completely shocked if we find out it is a girl. Trey is leaning more towards girl & our family is just about split 50/50!
We are struggling when it comes to names. We have a bunch we like, but just haven’t felt like we’ve landed on THE name. We hope that once we find out the gender, it will help us narrow it down, but feel free to send any name suggestions our way over the next several months!